Dear
ReStore,
I'm breaking up with you. Well, to be honest, we were never really going steady.
I respect what you stand for, and that's why I found you so attractive in the first place. I admire your desire to reuse building materials so that less ends up in the landfills. Even more so, I admire that all of your proceeds go towards funding the construction of Habitat for Humanity homes for low-income families. For those reasons, I will always speak highly of you.
Unfortunately, we can no longer continue to entertain the notion that you and I will ever be a couple.
From our first date, I realized that you are much too picky. Have you ever heard of the saying
"Beggars can't be choosers"? It's a good one.
Listen. I understand why you can't come and pick up my donations. Fine. I'm happy to do it. But then you have to get all uppity about which items you'll accept.
What? You think you're too good for
me my items? Is that it? But the last straw is your
unavailability. You will only accept donations on certain days during certain times. You're simply too high maintenance for me.
So listen. I may as well be honest and tell you that I'm seeing someone else. His name is
Craig Slist. He treats me well, and he's way less opinionated. He will take just about anything, and he even comes to my house to pick up my stuff. So far, he's helped me get rid of a bunch of bricks, a slew of appliances, a door, a hot water heater, and more.
I wish you well, ReStore. But it's just not gonna happen for us.
Warmly,
Karen